The Hunger Games

I've just read this really awesome book by Suzanne Collins, and it's called- well, just look at the title of this post! It's about this girl, called Katniss(weird name) and this boy named Peeta(WEIRDER name) who get picked to enter the hunger games, a televised death match(veryscary). A lot of people in my class have already read them,so I decided to try them, and I read all night! Then, the next day, my teacher started reading it to the class, and I always knew what was around the corner, and what happens next. I found myself yelling "Don't eat those berries, they're poisonous!" and other comments at other points in the story. I just finished reading them, and now I feel like some Hunger Games pro or whatever. I'd recommend them for anyone who likes good books!

Guinea Pigs

There has been a request for a blog edition about bunnies, but since I don't know much about bunnies, I'll write about guinea pigs...
I have two fat, lazy guinea pigs who eat and sleep and poo and poo in their sleep, and eat while they poo, and poo, POO, POO!
Oh, did I mention POO?
But despite their constant pooing, they're pretty good pets... they're SUPER CUTE, and they squeak a lot.
They squeak because they're hungry, which means they squeak a lot. But when they eat, they POO!
Okay, enough off the poo(which my guinea pigs do a lot, BTW)-I feed them lettuce, even when it's NOT MY TURN, but my SISTER doesn't even BOTHER to check the SCHEDULE I made, and-okay, I'm getting off topic... anyway:
They're vegetarians(I hope I spelt that right) which is good, because I think little carnivorous guinea pigs running around would be gross...
But if you're thinking about getting a pet, I would TOTALLY reccomend guinea pigs... their olny flaws are poo, POO and more POO!
Other than that, they're pretty awesome pets...

Mona-Wannabes

1. Moona Lisa


2. Mona E. Neuman


3. Mona Lisa Caricature


4. Mona Needs Braces


5. Baldy Mona

By Request, Funny Baby Pix

 1. A Really Angry-Yet-Funny Baby

2. Baby-Eating-Huge-Watermelon

3. Technically Not A Human But When It's This Cute, Who Cares?!?

4. What Is This Creepy Baby Hiding?

5. Hey! That Isn't A Baby!

sorry about the picture... it kinda didn't show up...

By the way, CHECCK IT OUT for a picture of a smiling cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a SUPER FUNNY PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry Potter with guess-which british-female-actress's hair!
Watch and laugh:

Totally messed up and random but JUST SO HILARIOUS!
If we're looking at picture, look at this:

A smiling cat!
So cute...
Bye for now.
If you want MORE awesome pictures just post a comment and I'll see what I can do!
You can even give me a topic and i'll look for the best picture ON THAT TOPIC(unless it's something really messed up like "underpants" or whatever...

Will I become a princess?

probably not. i tried to look on Ancestry.ca or something, but they wouldn't let me on! apparently, i need an "account" or something stupid like that! So i tried to create an account, but i found out that you actually need to PAY to get one! Why on earth would anyone pay to learn about their dead great-grandpa? search me!
anyway, i was pretty hooked on this whole "princess" thing, because my sister is named "Maeve the second", and there was a QUEEN Maeve of Irish folklore! I probably shouldn't get my hopes up, though, because there are like 20, 00 Maeves in Ireland.
oh, well.

Hi. i don't have much to write about today.

Ever had a creativity block? That's what I'm having right now. So I may as well recycle old material:

March 15, 44 BCE

Today, I wake up feeling faint. My limbs ache. My stomach growls as I sit down to my breakfast of baked dormice. It tastes fabulous. But not nearly as fabulous as me. I am Caesar. The ultimate ruler of Rome. What I say goes. The people of Rome worship me. I really cannot blame them. It is not possible to ignore this emperor- this emblem of power.
I walk to my usual spot at the senate. Here, I can see all that goes on. Nothing can escape my observant eye. Senators look at me nervously. Good. I like to see those unimportant little urchins put in their place. They don’t matter. It’s me that matters. Only me. Surveying the room, my majestic eyes come to rest on Brutus, my old-but not nearly as wonderful- friend. Can eyes be majestic? Yes. But only when they’re on me. Marvelous, glorious me. Julius Caesar. I love how that sounds.
Do you want to hear more about me? Of courses you do. Forgive me for asking such a ridiculous question. Besides, if you had said no, (which, of course, you obviously never would do) I would have crucified you. My very favorite punishment. I find it very enjoyable to watch the look on the little pimple’s faces as their friends are nailed to wooden crosses. I’ve tried to bring it to schools, but alas, those idiot teachers didn’t share my genius. So I crucified them.
Poets come towards me. They obviously want to bask in the radiance of my poetic glory, amongst my many other amazing qualities. They start to read me their work. It’s okay, I guess. Actually, it’s not okay. It’s not about me. Wonderful, fantastic me. Crucify them all! My poems are far superior to theirs! MY poems can really express the most important concept and describe it with great depth and feeling…ME!

Me, me, glorious me,
So wonderful am I,  
Caesar’s your name,
And along with your fame,
You’re brighter than stars in the sky!

Ladies get in a queue,
Just to be with you,
But can you blame them? NO!
Cleopatra’s the best
But when put to the test
She’s colder than ice and snow!

Now, when I say Cleopatra’s the best, I mean, of course, with the exception of warm-hearted, awe-inspiring ME!

My wife, Julia- no, it’s Trifosa- no, it’s- I honestly can’t remember what it is, but why should I be expected to, when the only one who matters is genius, wonderful ME! My wife told me that she had a dream. Everyone dreams, right? Everyone dreams boring old dreamy dreams… except ME! I dream fascinating things that will forever benefit society like… oh, well I can’t name any at the moment, but that’s just because I have so many amazing accomplishments, that it’s hard to remember them all.
My wife told me that she had a dream about “bad things” happening to me at the senate on March 15… that’s today! And so far, every thing has been fine! My wife totally over reacts… I think I’ll crucify her, too.
Then, my personal Oracle (who is like the personal, very lucky fortune teller of glorious, incredible me) told me that she “foresaw bad things on the senate of March 15”. Blah-de-blah-de-blah. I think she may be mental. She was talking about the stupid senate when she could have been talking about the supreme ruler of a powerful city, and an undeniably amazing person. In other words, ME! Fabulous, wonderful ME!
I think I’ll crucify her, too.
Oh, here comes my old friend Brutus. Come to think of it, I haven’t actually seen him in a while. He hasn’t praised me for such a long time. Maybe I’ll crucify him, too.  Oh, here he comes. To see me. Fabulous, amazing me. Can’t really blame him, wanting to see me better. The boy’s always looked up to me.
Don’t worry about him, I tell the guards. They nod their heads and lower their spears. Of course, they obey the wondrous me. I am like a god to those pathetic imbeciles.
Brutus walks up to me smiling. No surprise there. I am even better close up. I smile back, revealing my perfect, wonderful teeth. They are like tiny, perfect pearls, inside a perfect mouth, which belongs to the greatest man in all of Rome (my Rome, by the way)!
But then, Brutus did something unimaginable! Even I, the brightest man in the world did not foresee what that fiend Brutus did… he stabbed me! Glorious, fantastic me! What on earth could that little fiend have against the most kind, caring and sensitive man in Rome? If I had survived that, I would have crucified him for sure!
And not only that! All of the senators jumped out of their seats and lined up to stab me! Poor, innocent, amazing me!
What a tragic, dramatic death for the most loved and respected man in Rome! ME!
But then, my biggest admirer, that wonderful boy Antony (not as wonderful as me though, of course) did something that changed every thing.
Anthony stands up at the circus. The eyes of the crowd turn from the gore of prisoners being ripped into shreds by lions to Antony, and he started to read my will to the people of Rome! It touched their hearts!
Actually, I have more than one will. And/ the two are very, VERY different. One is purposely horrible, stupidly written and clearly not to be followed under any circumstances. The other one is a caring, loving speech with true passion, and the makings of a truly genius work of art.

I leave my wonderful palace to me!
It is to become a tomb for the greatest man on earth…
And I’m sure you know who that is!
My fortune I leave to me!
It is to be melted to build the greatest coffin ever…
A coffin made of solid gold…
And I wish for the position of emperor to be left to none other than…
Marc Antony, who I’m sure will honour me as a god…
The way I rightfully should be honoured, of course.

My other will, now:

To the people of Rome, I leave:

My money, which is to be spread evenly throughout all of Rome, given to everyone equally, for I consider all of my  people equal.
My palace will be opened to the public, for all to marvel at.
And the position of emperor will remain empty.
Rome will become a democracy.

Those stupid citizens will believe anything! Especially when it’s me who tells them it. Or, of course, that Antony. He told them Will #2 (the stupidly written one) and-of course- they believed EVERY WORD OF IT! They actually think that I, their worshipped god and leader- CARE about them!
Of course, a mob is formed, and my wonderful citizens (with Antony in the lead, of course) team up and kill that wretched traitor Brutus! I feel so honoured (yet not surprised) that all of those people would kill for me! Heavenly, glorious me… 

Never under-estimate the power of copy-and-pasting.
Enjoy!

A Baby Story-Thingy

Big cocktail party. Adults drinking wine. Hello? Baby here! Just drop me off in the kitchen so I can do my thing, my “thing” as in “raid the fridge”. I mean, sure, the milk’s okay, I guess, but a baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do! Oh, and as for the whole “personal space” concept, don’t knock it till ya try it. And if I start crying or whatever, it’s because you’re such a lousy parent. No, I’m not hungry. No, I’m not tired. I just wanna watch the midnight viewing of “Psycho”! Is that too much to ask? Heck, you guys do it all the time. Do you want me to grow up a coward? Start early, that’s MY motto. And YES, I know what a motto is! Hey! Stinky diaper over here! Yeah, you! Get over here before I call the cops and report child abuse! And no, I am NOT crying! Yeah, if you wore diapers you would know what it’s like. Yawn! Yeah, of course I’m tired! Lord of the Rings was on demand last night! Oh, and if you ever get a bill from the TV Network, the cat did it! OK, so we don’t have a cat… are you listening when I speak to you? And for the last time, I am NOT crying! 

Devastating Illnesses Have Feelings, Too!

 “Wash your hands, honey. You don’t want to get sick.” How do you think that makes us feel? I really don’t mean to kill people and inflict infinite pain on thousands of innocent victims. It comes naturally. You know, I bet that if you got to know me better, you’d finally see my other, sensitive side. I’m actually very kind and caring. Okay, so you kill a few million people, and everyone turns against you for no reason! Then some guy goes and invents this “penicillin” racket, and the next thing you know, wherever you go you’re shunned! That is so “disease-ist”!    

An Introduction:

I used to have another blog. Then, the password stopped working and-well, anyway, I'm back. I'll start off with some light stuff:

Top 5 Way to do a Sucessful Crank-Call:
(and if you don't know what that is, ask your teacher. He or she'll know)

1: Victim: Hello?
Pranker: I'm so sorry for your loss.
V: Pardon?
P: You must be so broken up about it. It was all we talked about at the knitting club... but I think I owe it to you to be honest... we all knew it was coming.
At this point most callers will hang up... but if they don't:
P: I can't believe you! You're not sad at all! You FIEND!!!
Then YOU can hang up.
2: V: Hel-
P: (cut them off) I couldn't believe what you did last night! IT was too much! Even for YOU! No-one should use a monopoly set that way! What did that poor hairdresser do to deserve that? Why, I don't...
Keep ranting on until the Victim hangs up. If they never do, then  ask them: What have you got to say for yourself?!?

Okay... so I asid I was gonna say five.. but really, I can't think of any others... so let's just leave it at that for the moment.